I took a break from the Olympics, booking last-minute plane tickets and uploading photos to watch some Top Gear clips at their website. The banner ad placement at the top of the page was perfect …
Yes my friends, a LifeLock banner next to The Stig. That is an identity theft protection ad appearing over the head of one of the most famous anonymous people in the world of television. This is a banner ad win.
There are a lot of TV personalities that seem warm, fuzzy and approachable. You totally want to be on their show. Heck, these are the type of people that you might want to invite over for dinner. Alton Brown in my kitchen … awesome idea. Bryan Williams asking me to pass the gravy … fantastic. Conan O’Brien looking for extra hair gel in your guest bathroom … odd, but entirely acceptable.
However, many media personalities are people you never want to meet … especially on their TV turf. These are the type of people who only appear on your doorstep if you’re accused of a crime, standing in a war zone or about to be swept into the ocean. If you end up on their show you are screwed.
Totally. Royally. Screwed.
Based on a conversation with my friends, here are my top five TV personalities you never want to meet.
I’ve put some of my video habit aside to work on photography, thanks to my new Canon Rebel T1i. On my last photo outing to the Little Five Points Halloween Parade, I captured a classic three photo sequence. This requires a little bit of explanation so you understand the source of the funny.
Note: one of the photos is in slightly poor taste. It’s not what I would call “not safe for work” but it’s borderline. Also, my Mom might not like it very much … just warning you in advance …
The blog at woot.com has a great list today … “What Annoys Us About The End Of Analog TV?”
* Having to make new digital-compliant tinfoil hats
* Aliens behind “The Outer Limits” can no longer control the vertical or horizontal
* We’re stuck with all this unsold analog TV equipment – we knew nobody would want it, but it was just so cheap
* No more pretending we have MTV when UHF channels get audio bleed from radio stations
* Mad scientists who hijack television signals in order to describe their plans to a world held hostage can no longer get away with skipping makeup
* Now inevitable that Jack White will announce his plan to start making videos in analog
* One more reason for our relatives to think we’re weirdos for not having cable
* That old guy from Videodrome who existed only as recordings no longer meets current standards
* Not being able to watch TV most of the time because the digital signals are such crap
PROTIP: If you’re going to try and take someone’s money via a postal solicitation, try to make sure the proposal doesn’t look like a joke. Exhibit A: Cambridge Who’s Who.
On the 75th anniversary of the repeal of prohibition, I think I have the solution to make American car manufacturing profitable again … have Congress make US car companies illegal.
Yes, prohibition of US car companies might actually make them successful. Yes, I have the logic to back that statement up.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you …