Siliconchef by Brian Richardson

This site is brilliant … http://www.wakeyz.com/ … Wakey’z Drugmall is a fake site full of overly caffeinated products. The goal is to draw you into the Sleep Number Bed website, so you can get better sleep rather than stay awake using stimulants.

Some of my favorite products:

• Night Owls – caffeinated barbecued owl wings
• Cheetah Steaks – steaks marinated with caffeine
• Defibrill-ade – energy drink
• Adrenalens – adrenaline infused sailine solution

Also be sure to read the disclaimers … one of the side effects is “regret”

As a viral marketing tool, it’s utterly brilliant. Yes, I am perpetuating it, even though I do not use the bed as a product or am getting paid to endorse the product.

http://wsbradio.com/news/052907potter.html

On behalf of the residents of Loganville, Georgia, I would like to apologize again for the crazy ramblings of Laura Mallory and her failing campaign to remove Harry Potter novels from public school libraries. Not everyone in my town is a religious nutjob who uses other people’s perceptions of fictional characters to ban a book from a school library.

I hope Laura Mallory spends as much effort parenting her children as she does trying to insert her beliefs into the lives of other people’s kids. If she is not pleased with how government schools handle their libraries, she can send her children to a number of fine private institutions in Gwinnett and/or Walton County.

Pardon me as I go back to work … now that more of my tax money has been wasted defending another one of Laura’s frivolous lawsuits, I see another property tax increase in my future.

Today’s giant whatthef**kareyouthinking goes to US Citizenship and Immigration Services … who turned down a plan to make legal immigrant applications faster and save an estimated $350 million dollars.

And people wonder why I don’t like bureaucracy.

Work? Already? Damn, it has been a month, hasn’t it?

Sabbatical over, time to earn my keep.

Two sets of photos from my recent trip to New Bern:

• Some pages from my grandmother’s scrapbook that highlight my grandfather’s time in the US Navy (1923-1958)
• Photos from the New Bern US Cemetery Memorial Day services

Remembering may be difficult, but forgetting can be harder …

“The War Was In Color” by Carbon Leaf

I see you’ve found a box of my things -
Infantries, tanks and smoldering airplane wings.
These old pictures are cool. Tell me some stories
Was it like the old war movies?
Sit down son. Let me fill you in

Where to begin? Let’s start with the end
This black and white photo don’t capture the skin
From the flash of a gun to a soldier who’s done
Trust me grandson
The war was in color

From shipyard to sea, From factory to sky
From rivet to rifle, from boot camp to battle cry
I wore the mask up high on a daylight run
That held my face in its clammy hand
Crawled over coconut logs and corpses in the coral sand

Where to begin? Let’s start with the end
This black and white photo don’t capture the skin
From the shock of a shell or the memory of smell
If red is for Hell
The war was in color

I held the canvas bag over the railing
The dead released, with the ship still sailing,
Out of our hands and into the swallowing sea
I felt the crossfire stitching up soldiers
Into a blanket of dead, and as the night grows colder
In a window back home, a Blue Star is traded for Gold.

Where to begin? Let’s start with the end
This black and white photo don’t capture the skin
When metal is churned. And bodies are burned
Victory earned
The War was in color

Now I lay in my grave at age 21
Long before you were born
Before I bore a son
What good did it do?
Well hopefully for you
A world without war
A life full of color

Where to begin? Let’s start with the end
This black and white photo never captured my skin
Once it was torn from an enemy thorn
Straight through the core
The war was in color

“Adjust your own mask before helping others”

I’ve seen it on the flight safety cards in dozens of airplanes, but it’s one of the best life tips I’ve ever heard.

You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself … People who can’t swim are only an anchor to a drowning man … It’s a variation on a theme.

I’ve spoken these words to a friend before, and I repeated them to the same friend on the phone today. I hope my words are enough to provide the support they need while I am away.