The space between what could be and what is not

Let’s just cut the chase: I was an asshole at work Tuesday. It really doesn’t matter what started it or what pre-existing conditions contributed to my frustration … I overreacted.

Lately I’ve been frustrated with a lot of things in my life . The trip to Germany showed me a glimmer of hope regarding work, because I really enjoyed getting back onto the trade show circuit.

At the trade show, I meet current customers who are doing great stuff with out products. Really innovative, very sharp companies that get what we do and know how to improve it. In some cases, I think they get it better than some of our engineers. When I meet a customer that doesn’t have our product,  I can show them what they can do with our product.

When I come back to work that all goes away … I’m the man in the box again, answering strange e-mails and looking at what needs to happen. I see the holes, the pieces missing. It drags me down, sometimes into a pit I can’t easily crawl out of.

It’s the space between what could be and what is not … somehow I lose that ability to see the potential when I get bogged down in the baggage of everyday office life.

Not everyone at work is a genius worthy of praise, but overall I work for a good company. There are sharp people there, and it bugs me to think that some small mistake we make will prevent their work from seeing the light of day.

Think of a man who works for a clay company, returning from an exhibit where artists have taken that raw material and turned it into art … then that man comes back to a warehouse full of messed up orders and barely organized chaos.

No, it doesn’t justify me using one small request to vent my frustration on other work issues … but it gives me some idea why I’m annoyed. Maybe I can use that to work out a solution. I have too much else in my life that isn’t where it should be, and they don’t deserve that type of treatment.

Here’s to gracefully bridging the gap between clay and art.