Siliconchef by Brian Richardson
Go on … guess how I’m celebrating my birthday. Go on? Give it a try?
Nope, not even close? Although I did like that bit about the monkeys.
No sir, I’m on my way to Taiwan, booked on a last minute fare with an average airline to help Intel train a bunch of customers on software I’ve never used up until last week.
See, not even close?
I’ve known about this trip for about two weeks. I has been asked to go before that, but I didn’t know enough about the source code layout to really be a good technical trainer. I do a lot of training and presentations, and I prefer to know something about a subject before I stand in front of a bunch of skilled engineers and and perceived to be knowledgeable on a subject because my name is on the title PowerPoint slide.
So this small bit of politics breaks out behind my back, and it seems that our CEO can’t take “sorry, but my employee doesn’t feel comfortable training people on software he doesn’t know” for an answer. So I’m taking one for the team because the actual team of engineers that have been working on this codebase for years are just too busy to handle the training.
Lucky me.
Do I mind travel? Any reader of this website can see that is a definite “no”.
Do I have a problem with going to Taiwan? Absolutely not. I really like Taipei and have orders from the wife to buy a few decorative items in the Snake Market while I’m here (hand-painted banners and fans for the dining room).
Do I mind public speaking? Please … I co-host a call-in computer show and have been a speaker at Intel Developer Fourm more than most Intel employees.
So what’s my beef with this trip? Going on my birthday is a bit of a personal problem … not because I hold my birthday as a sacred event, but because Suzan had gone to the trouble of planning a “surprise” for me which had to be called off.
No, this is a purely professional problem … a lack of planning on somebody else’s part becoming my personal emergency. Having to drop everything for the next three weeks so I can learn enough about the material to look competent, while praying that the guys from Intel can cover my ass on tough questions. Putting my professional reputation at stake, along with the company’s reputation, by being handed a golden opportunity to stand up in front of 30 or 40 people and make a total ass out of myself if my end of the training doesn’t go well.
Now I’m stuck. If I go over there and do a good job, it’s a plus for me because I managed to pull this thing our of my posterior … unfortunately I prove those morons right who pushed me into going. But I have too much of a work ethic and too much pride in what I do to blow this one on purpose … I’m not the type to fall on my sword in the name of spiting others.
So where does that leave Brian? Brian’s on EvaAir #15, due to land in Taipei at 6:10am Monday morning. This gives me three hours to catch a ride, clean up, and show up at the Intel Taipei office (yes, the last minute trip decision means I got a flight schedule made of pure crap). This leaves Brian in a cramped coach seat, watching a Taiwanese movie so slow it makes Eyes Wide Shut look like a fast-paced action film, wondering why that night-time cold medicine didn’t allow him to sleep through the entire flight. This makes Brian talk about himself in the third person, which is starting to make Brian feel a bit weird.
Brian is about to die. Brian needs sleep … badly.
Brian is having a talk with his CEO when he gets back about resource allocation, then Brian is taking a few days off to tile his house.
