Siliconchef by Brian Richardson
I’m getting tired of telling everybody about my broken toe. Of course everybody asks because I am wearing this stupid shoe. I know it helps keep my toe stablilzed, but it doesn’t match anything in my closet.
Stupid health providers … why pick this nasty blue? Why not a tasteful brown or black? It’s bad enough I have to limp for three weeks, why draw even more attention to my plight?
It’s because they want people to laugh at you.
That looks like it needs a strategic application of spray paint.
I won’t say "be glad you have it" but I’m comparing what you’re saying to what my mother said a few years ago. Before she retired, she was a second-grade teacher. (She’s also 4’11".) She had a kid come up to her, accidentally step on her foot, and she ended up with a broken toe.
Her doctor looked at it and said, "Nothing we can do." They told her to get something birkenstocky. Since from looking at her you wouldn’t know the toe was broken, she got bumped into, stepped on, etc. by more kids. I think she would’ve been better off with the Enormous Blue Thing.
Have you been able to con Suzan into bringing you drinks and stuff at home? I have a feeling she only fell for the "but my toe’s broken!" line maybe … once. If that often.
I don’t really try to pull the "I’m sick" card with the spouse. She’s done a few things to help without the need to pout, but I don’t dare use one broken bone as an excuse to be pampered.
Well, yeah, ’cause your wife is fab and you know it.
I also want to look funny! Where can I get one of those funny cast shoes for my broken right index toe, size 9.5, without seeing a doc? And maybe I can find a nice cordovan which will match my outfits!