Epiphany

It happened on Annistown Road, about 11:40PM on Sunday. I was shifting into fourth, and the CD player was going from Track 4 to Track 5 of Josh Joplin Group’s Useful Music. The windows were rolled down. I was heading home.

Somewhere in the dashboard of my car, an electrical current moved through a wire attached to a paper cone. The movement of electrical current through copper generates a magnetic field. In this case, the copper wire was attached to a small paper cone. This newly generated magnetic field was in dispute with a large earth magnet several centimeters away. The two opposing fields caused the paper cone to reevaluate its place in the universe, causing a displacement of air in my automobile’s passenger cabin. The lyrics of Camera One, alarmed by the fight between the magnet and its neighboring wire, escaped the dashboard of my car on the heels of the recently displaced air.

It’s funny how life turns out
The odds of faith in the face of doubt
Camera One closes in
The soundtrack starts
The scene begins

I had spent an hour talking to my friend Alice. I was supposed to drop her off at her house after dinner. This evolved into a discussion of live, the universe and everything. Alice was looking at her life, evaluating what was important. She has just left a two year relationship that was supposed to become a marriage.

The trophy wife from Palisades
Whose yearbook beauty never fades
Sits and watches the sea fold in
And wonders what might have been
If she could ever have the chance
Would she do it all again?

We talked about what was important, what we wanted to do over the next few years, and how relationships fit into the whole thing. She decided that she was going to live her life and do her thing, and that marriage didn’t necessarily fit into those plans. I talked about the random chain of events that lead me to Suzan, and how marriage didn’t seem to limit anything I wanted to do with my life. She talked about her old relationships and I talked about mine … due to my lack of a dating life, I mostly listened.

It’s funny how life turns out
The odds of faith in the face of doubt
Camera One closes in
The soundtrack starts
The scene begins

I walked out of that conversation feeling pretty good, but I wasn’t really sure why. Intelligent conversation does good things to me, so I figured my good feelings were a side effect of my brain actually having to work for an hour. As I flew down the road, I started to go back over certain parts of the conversation.

The epiphany happened on Annistown Road, about 11:40PM on Sunday. I was shifting into fourth, and the CD player was going from Track 4 to Track 5 of Josh Joplin Group’s Useful Music. The windows were rolled down. I was heading home.

I had managed to find Suzan, my wife, through the most random of connections. If I had done just the smallest thing differently, we would have never met. Years ago I had isolated the one moment in my life, four years before Suzan and I were introduced, where changing the answer to a Yes/No question would have prevented us from meeting. Despite fighting staggeringly bad probability, I had met somebody I could truly call a soulmate. This person didn’t limit my life, cause me to go down a path I didn’t like, or otherwise make me regret the life decisions that brought me to this moment in time.

It’s funny how life turns out
The odds of faith in the face of doubt
Camera One closes in
The soundtrack starts
The scene begins

Suzan wouldn’t be jealous because I spent an unplanned hour over at a female friend’s house. I don’t feel like Suzan is ready to pack and leave at any moment, or willing to jump ship whenever something more attractive than me walks down the street. After six years of marriage, she doesn’t appear to be after my money (good thing, since I’m not rich). She doesn’t discourage me from pursuing hobbies or spending time with friends. We can both maintain separate interests while still sharing a life together.

It was a good feeling, probably the best feeling I had experienced in a long time.

It’s funny how life turns out
The odds of faith in the face of doubt
Camera One closes in
The soundtrack starts
The scene begins

You’re playing you now …
Take a bow … take a bow.