siliconchef.com 2.0

Okay, I saw Reign of Fire Thursday night. It was entertaining, but not a perfect movie. It’s actually okay to see a not-so-good movie every once in a while. It’s even better to talk about said movie’s plot holes at dinner afterwards.

I went to see the movie with Suzan and our friend Alice, then we headed to dinner. We started to poke at the movie’s holes shortly after the drinks arrived. This is the list of issues we had with out lovely little dragon flick (this does spoil the movie for some of you, and that just sucks for you if you keep reading):

• Christian Bale looks enough like Matthew McConaughey that we thought the British guy was Matt until Matt shows up all bald and rough looking (which made Suzan and Alice pretty happy).
• Where did they get all the gas for those tanks and aircraft?
• What’s up with the harpoon? Didn’t they try using the BIG &^%$ING GUN on the tank at some point?
• If dragons eat ash, why do they spend so much time gobbling down on horses and Britons?
• What nutritional value does ash have? It sounds like a supermodel diet.
• I’m sorry, but what’s up with the “one male” theory? What horny D&D playing fool came up with that one? You’re telling me that this giant alpha male dragon just flies about gizzing on the female population below? This scriptwriter watches too much European porn.
• The dragons wiped out the dinosaurs? Sure, whatever. Then where did all that OIL come from? You remember, the oil that Mr. McMatt is using to run his little army as they dash across England. How come every resource starved apocalyptic atoll has access to gasoline? Mad Max lived in a world where gas was more valuable than water, yet everybody drove a gas-guzzling V8 sportscar. Waterworld (a.k.a. Dances With Dolphins) has a giant oil tanker and hundreds of jet skis, but no refinery in sight. Lets face the facts … when the world ends, you will have to get out and walk.

Anyway, it was still a fun movie. The dragons looked cool, so give kudos to the CGI team. it was worth the price of admission, especially since it generated a few hours of quality conversation.

written by brian