Life presents me with such a rich pagent of stupidity … it’s moments like this I’m glad I have a website.
Suzan and I had provided sleeping space for Amy, Jeff, Jess & Sarah after they came to town for a DragonCon staff meeting. As noon approached, we decided that food would be a good thing. So we went to Buffalo’s Cafe, a place that Suzan and I frequent.
I won’t discuss the clueless waiter, which is an unusual thing to encounter at Buffalo’s. I won’t detail the long intervals between refills, or the delay between ordering and the first arrival of food (I’m sure Jess and Amy will write of this in great detail). This entry is detailing what we now refer to as the “green chile sauce” incident.
Jess ordered the Encharrito Trio. The Buffalo’s menu clearly states that this “new” item comes with green chile sauce (which Jess loves). When said Trio arrived, the green chile sauce was not present. The waiter claimed that the establishment did not have said sauce, even though the menu clearly indicated otherwise.
So he went to talk to the manager.
After returning, the waiter said that the green chile sauce had been removed from the menu due to a “high-level corporate decision”, but the menus had not been changed. He recommended that Jess speak with the manager if she had a problem with this.
In a moment of great mental connection, the six of us imagined the executive board of a restaurant chain in a meeting. Projected on the wall of their stylish conference room, complete with burlwood accents and brass fixtures, is a PowerPoint of the meeting agenda:
- 401K Investment Report
- Stock Purchase Plan
- World Domination
- Green Chile Sauce
What traumatic event would cause a large corporate organization to remove green chile sauce from their inventory? Did somebody die when exposed to the sauce? Does the sauce unlock the great secrets of the underworld? Would WorldCom have maintained profitability if they had removed green chile sauce from their cafeteria? And why keep the green chile sauce on the menu … does the board of directors wish to cover up the “green chile sauce incident”?
So Jess sent for the manager. The manager was new, and didn’t even know Buffalo’s has ever stocked green chile sauce. He was amused by the fact that the sauce was removed based on the discussion of several high-level executives. He apologized, and offered to replace Jess’ meal with something else. Jess explained that we didn’t have that long to wait, and detailed other negative aspects of her dining experience.
We left after waiting for the checks (Jess did not pay for her meal). I’m trying to dig up the meeting minutes from the Buffalo’s board of directors to unlock the secrets of the “green chile sauce incident”. Perhaps Art Bell could help …